Category: Kingdoms of the Radio: A Novel

  • Kingdoms of the Radio: Charlie Perigo 2 [ficção]

    
I first discovered the old Girassol Ranch by accident. When I finally bought my chopper, I talked my way into doing some fire spotting for the Department of Forestry. It had the added benefit of giving me an excuse to be be flying back and forth over the back forty when it was harvest time, and I could help some of my friends move some plants. No one was going to question the flights if I was supposed to by looking for flareups. Keep in mind, this was before CAMP and the sight of a helicopter made everyone itchy.

    Another benefit of being able to get above the trees was that I could see the surf break before I paddled out to it. If the wind was makai, or toward the ocean, it would help smooth out the faces of the waves offshore and keep their lips up. There were plenty of crunchers out there—I think the bottom drops away pretty quickly at Manchester Beach—but when the wind was just right and I had the break line to myself, it was paradise, man.

    The first thing you learn as a stick is to constantly be looking for a place to land. Choppers are like bumblebees, built totally wrong for extended flight. I mean, just look at the damn things; it’s only through sheer tenacity that either of us gets off the ground and I think that kind of pisses it off. The ground is always looking for a chance to take us back.

    I was coming back from where Bravo was working out toward Spy Rock when my engine took a shit. I lost all hydraulic pressure and had to fall back on auto-rotation, where I have to use the potential energy of my big chunk of glass and metal that really wants to fall out of the sky. I quickly reduced my pitch which took advantage of the wind flowing upward through the rotors and was able to keep them spinning, slowing my tearful reunion with the dirt.

    Luckily, I had noticed the courtyard of an abandoned farm on the way out and was able to aim my dead bumblebee toward it. The most butt-clenching part of what my old flight instructors unironically called a “controlled decent” is the flare. At the last minute, the stick has to yank the pitch back up to get the bird moving parallel to the ground before the big kiss-and-make-up with that dusty bitch.

    After I pried my chonies out of my clenched ass cheeks, I hopped out and took a look around. Out of necessity, I had developed a bit of a sixth sense back in ’Nam, and I had learned the hard way to pay attention to it. Ever since that first time, as soon I dropped onto the property, I would have the weird feeling of being watched.

    Of course, in time, there would be plenty of troublemakers there, but even when it was just me—and sometimes, Chae—I would always do a quick recon just to make sure that no one was going to mess with the chopper. I never saw anybody, or anything, for that matter; but I never could shake that feeling.

    All of the outbuildings that probably once housed the ranch workers were completely falling apart but the big house always looked to be in pretty good shape, almost like it was protected from the elements somehow. I don’t know when it was last lived in, but when Zongo made his way up there he said it was almost like the house had been waiting for him.

    Keep in mind that Zongo smokes a lot of weed.

    Follow the story:
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Serafina’s Gift
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Charlie Perigo 1
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Zongo Kumalo 1
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Karoline Rosenda 1
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Zongo Meets The Stick
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Ride a Painted Pony
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Fadeout (Rock Hound Magazine, 1970)
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Tibetan Bells & a Bird from Hell
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Enrique Bravocado 1

    Kingdoms of the Radio: Zongo Khumalo 2
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Karoline Rosenda 2
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Enrique Bravocado 2
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Don’t Poke the Bear (Pt. 1)
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Don’t Poke the Bear (Pt. 2)

  • Kingdoms of the Radio: Don’t Poke the Bear (Pt. 2) [ficção]

     “So there we were, at the Canadian border, five of us in a van crammed with instruments and two pounds of the best Humboldt County weed you could imagine,” Cole entertained a captive audience of very stoned fans with tales of adventure and debauchery on the road. “Chalky was the one driving as he hadn’t come on to the acid yet, and we were hoping to make it to Vancouver before he did.”

    Watching Cole from the corner of the dimly lit room through all the hash smoke, cigarette haze, and bullshit, sat a raven-haired 17-year-old with the unlikely appellation, Raenbeaux Starr. Blessed with an unerring sixth sense for trouble, Rosenda watched the girl watch from the opposite side of the room.

    “As soon as we drove up to the booth and the Mountie was giving Chalky the treatment, you know, ‘Where are you going in Canada? How long do you plan to stay? All of that—our fucking bass player lost his hold on reality. He lunged up between the front seats and starting raving and growling, “I’m a monster!”

    Caught up in pantomiming his story, Cole was oblivious to the girl staring a hole into the side of his face.

    “Now, Canadians have a very dry sense of humor,” Cole continued. “The Mountie simply looked at our bassist and asked, ‘Are you carrying any fruits or veg?’ It was all we could do not to just dissolve into maniacal laughter. Somehow, we got waved through and made it far enough down the road so that we could pull over and lose it. I actually pissed myself I was laughing so hard.”

    Rosenda noticed that while most of the assorted hangers-on were laughing at Cole’s story, the young girl in the corner had never shifted her gaze. She was, however, moving closer to the star, carrying with her a massive lit joint.

    The nymphean creature sidled up to Cole and took a huge hit before shotgunning the pungent smoke into his mouth, sensuously brushing his lips with her own. The crowd reacted with a mix of encouragement and bemusement, sparking Rosenda to question the act.

    “What?” she sputtered, the heady atmosphere in the room taking a toll on her faculties. “What’s wrong with that?”

    One of the heads that was sitting cross-legged under a massive purple batik mandala spoke up. “Oh, it’s groovy. It’s just that Raenbeaux’s trip is Angel Dust. You know, PCP? Your man there is gonna be engaged for the next few hours.

    “God damn it!” Rosenda raged. “You fucking idiots, I’m going to lose my job!”

    Back out on the curb, Shane’s thoughts had turned briefly toward wondering what he was going to do about dinner when the front door of the old house slammed open, straining the natural arc of its hinges. A totally nude and raving Lucious Cole took the wooden stairs three-at-a-time and took off down the middle of Webster, an enraged Rosenda in hot pursuit.

    “Bear, just don’t sit, there,” she panted, her legs furiously working her leather pumps in a futile attempt to overtake the flying Cole. “Catch him!”

    Shane took a second to take stock of the situation and then leapt into action. Stepping out of the Lincoln, it took several seconds for the uncharacteristically tall Irish-American to completely unfold his body, but when he did, he loomed in the throw of the streetlight like a pale, fire-topped menhir, or Celtic standing stone.

    “Cole!” he bellowed, his resonant baritone rattling the Navy glass in the loose window frames of the houses. “Not that way, mate! There be dragons!”

    The pinwheel-eyed rock star spun on his bleeding heels and headed straight for the driver who promptly clotheslined him, dropping him to the street.

    “I didn’t say kill him!” Rosenda gasped while catching up to both Cole and her breath.

    Shane quietly took stock of the situation and tossed the gasping woman the keys to the Lincoln’s vast trunk. “Get the rope.”

    “What? You can’t…”

    “Look, Karoline, do you want this guy around or not? In about 60 seconds, he is going to be up and back to playing Johnny-on-the-go. I don’t feel like driving around all night looking for him. Get me the rope.”

    Rosenda didn’t argue any further but retrieved a skein of yellow nylon cord. She began to ask why Shane carried rope, but immediately thought better of it. Besides, she was about to find out.

    With a weary grunt, Bear knelt down next to the unconscious Cole and placed one knee in his back while looping the rope around his wrists. With a deftness that suggested Bear might have either had some experience with animal husbandry or BDSM, he had the rock star hogtied so that no matter what superhuman strength he may temporarily possess; the man was going nowhere.

    “Hey,” a voice called out from the Victorian’s porch where a ragtag crowd had spilled out. “You can’t do that, man! That man has rights!”

    Bear chose to ignore the complaints and focused on wrestling the inert star into the backseat of the Lincoln.

    “Fascist!”

    That turned out to be the wrong tact to take with the former boxer. Although he had been too young to get drawn into the War, Shane had brothers that risked their lives to beat back the tide of extremism in Europe.

    Without saying a word, Shane gently shut the rear suicide door and walked around the front of the car. Once on the sidewalk, the streetlight threw his shadow across the entire front of the house, casting a pall on whatever meager protests were forthcoming.

    “Who said that?” He bellowed.

    “Hey man, you can’t just…” one of the heads started an objection and quickly ran out of steam as Shane stepped up.

    “So it was you?” He loomed.

    The wispy-bearded young man couldn’t have been a hundred and forty pounds soaking wet, but answered the big man’s question without too much tremor in his voice.

    “Yea, it was me… Man.”

    Shane took the young man’s measure as even the traffic on nearby Haight St. seemed to quiet down for once.

    “Good for you,” he finally spoke. “You should always stand up for those who can’t stand up for themselves. That’s what my brothers went to Europe and got their asses shot full of Nazi lead for. I applaud that sentiment, but in this instance, I promise you, your concerns are misplaced.”

    His reassurances delivered, Shane turned and walked back to the car, leaving the group on the porch speechless.

    “What are we going to do with him?” Rosenda asked, getting into the Lincoln’s passenger side.

    “We are going to sit on him until he gets his shit together. I know just the place.”

    “You really clocked him,” she said, peering at Cole over the headrest.

    “That’s why I get the big bucks,” Shane half-joked, while tied up on the backseat, an Englishman far from home dreamt of Elysian Fields.

    Follow the story:
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Serafina’s Gift
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Charlie Perigo 1
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Zongo Kumalo 1
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Karoline Rosenda 1
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Zongo Meets The Stick
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Ride a Painted Pony
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Fadeout (Rock Hound Magazine, 1970)
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Tibetan Bells & a Bird from Hell
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Enrique Bravocado 1

    Kingdoms of the Radio: Zongo Khumalo 2
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Karoline Rosenda 2
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Enrique Bravocado 2
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Don’t Poke the Bear (Pt. 1)

  • Kingdoms of the Radio: Don’t Poke the Bear (Pt. 1) [ficção]

    The black ’65 Lincoln Continental idled at the curb of the decrepit Victorian on Webster St. in the Lower Haight. Dry weeds reached out from a parched patch of dirt as if straining to see their sorry reflection in the perfectly polished chrome hubcaps. The driver, an Irishman named Bearach Shane, just Bear to friends and enemies alike, had been in this position many times driving for Zev Avidan’s record company. Shane was a man who knew where in the City to get just about anything one could want, and what Lucious Cole wanted was trouble.

    The house was a well-established stop on the downhill slide, and many customers who Shane escorted there over the years soon dropped clear out of sight. Once in a while he would see some former young and hungry musician down in the Tenderloin walking the streets in the zombie shuffle that all junkies eventually seemed to affect; the ones that didn’t just flat out stop breathing, that is.

    Still, Shane understood the drive to match their everyday lives with the thrill and adrenaline rush of the stage. Most professional musicians lived for that hour or two or three of total connection both with their art and their admirers. Everything else, whether it was sitting on a bus, sitting on a plane, sitting backstage, or sitting at home, was unbearable drudgery. And once they were pulled into that higher state, well, you just couldn’t yank out the plug in the same way that the roadies disassembled the back line.

    Shane also understood addiction; he came from a long line of alcohol enthusiasts. That wasn’t to say that he had some horrible back story, no worse than anyone else’s back in the day, no priest or drunk uncle ever laid a hand on him. Regardless, it fell to the old neighborhood palookas to raise him up as much as anybody could, or would, take credit for.

    Shane had grown up in the fog-shrouded streets of the Sunset District, just down the street from Celestial Records, although the building wasn’t a record company back in his youth. The square, two-story cinderblock office had once been a neighborhood gym, and he had spent a lot of time in his youth, working the heavy bag and sparring in the regulation-sized ring.

    A lot of people in the neighborhood said that he could have been a Golden Gloves champion if he had stuck with it, but Bear had other, less lofty, aspirations. By the time he was in his twenties, Bear knew the intricacies of navigating the City’s streets and alleyways as well as its myriad political and racial factions. He probably could have run for a seat as a City Supervisor, and won, but as he liked to tell people who asked, he wasn’t that corrupt.

    Shane rolled down the driver side window, lit a Camel unfiltered, and checked his thinning red hair in the rear view. The one conceit he was unwilling to make to Father Time was losing the fiery tint that marked him as a mac na hÉireann, or son of Ireland. Every six weeks he slipped into the back door of a beauty salon run by a Vietnamese refugee named Rosy and chased the gray away for another month and a half.

    His one vulnerability surveyed and assuaged, Shane clicked the radio on, leaving it low so he could still hear if there was trouble afoot. The late night DJ was talking up Cole’s upcoming run of shows and his eyes automatically shifted to the house. Anybody’s money whether tha’ English fucker was going to make his gig, he mused, at the same time wondering about the feasibility of getting some action going regarding that bet.

    He knew some old school hard-asses from back home that would love to see Cole go down if only because he was the Queen’s subject. Bear was more pragmatic than that, coupled with the fact that “back home” for him was about three miles away from where he was parked; he couldn’t fault the man for where he was born.

    Plus, the poor sod was under the ol’ broad’s thumb as much as anyone, maybe more. Shane knew enough professionals to understand that once a Brit started making a decent piece of change, her taxmen sniffed it out like the rotten bulldogs they were, and they’d be lucky to have a pot left to piss in.


    Follow the story:
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Serafina’s Gift
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Charlie Perigo 1
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Zongo Kumalo 1
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Karoline Rosenda 1
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Zongo Meets The Stick
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Ride a Painted Pony
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Fadeout (Rock Hound Magazine, 1970)
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Tibetan Bells & a Bird from Hell
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Enrique Bravocado 1

    Kingdoms of the Radio: Zongo Khumalo 2
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Karoline Rosenda 2
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Enrique Bravocado 2

  • Kingdoms of the Radio: Karoline Rosenda 2 [ficção]

    You have to remember that these were the days when record companies, even small ones like Celestial, literally had money to burn. Z had set me up with a car and driver in order to shuttle Lucious Cole around with the all-important caveat that he make all three of the Winterland gigs. He didn’t care what else we got ourselves up to, which, in hindsight, he probably should have.

    There were a couple of tense moments going through customs with Cole’s bags in which I witnessed his charisma in full effect—let me explain here, I never thought I’d see a man with the personal power to dissuade Federal agents from rifling through his bags without once mentioning a thing about it. He could have told the agents to take their clothes off and do a jig, and they would have done it. It was the craziest thing I ever saw… up to then.

    After we left customs, we were as free as anyone has ever been; completely let loose on the City and with an expense account to boot.

    “Righto, Karoline, love! Our first stop is go see the president.” I can still see Lucious standing up through the open sunroof chanting, “LBJ! JBJ!”

    Little did I know that Lyndon Baines Johnson’s initials also stood for an ill-advised combination of heroin and LSD.

    Follow the story:
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Serafina’s Gift
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Charlie Perigo 1
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Zongo Kumalo 1
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Karoline Rosenda 1
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Zongo Meets The Stick
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Ride a Painted Pony
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Fadeout (Rock Hound Magazine, 1970)
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Tibetan Bells & a Bird from Hell
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Enrique Bravocado 1

    Kingdoms of the Radio: Zongo Khumalo 2

  • Kingdoms of the Radio: Zongo Khumalo 2 [ficção]

    I met Bravo as soon as I hit ground. We did up the last of my Colombian marching powder and I caught a ride with him up to Mrs. Chaves’ property. The Mendo coast was different in those days. A lot slower, if you can imagine. I think there may have been one stoplight on the whole trip.

    The bottom had long fallen out of the timber and cattle businesses and tourists, although around, weren’t everywhere. A couple of freaks in a busted-up VW van could still draw looks when we cruised through town.

    Bravo had been working on some of the remaining ranches as kind of an indentured servant, which suited him quite well. He told me that he had been a high school English teacher in the Bay Area, and couldn’t deal with seeing his former kids coming back from Vietnam in boxes, so he dropped out. He liked the repetition and the anonymity of working the fields. He also was stoked to be in the best shape of his life.

    Some of the established farms had started supplementing their income by growing the crazy weed, and my man was quite the expert, having lived up in Humboldt County. I was glad to hear that I would at least be able to find some smoke on the Garcia, as that was one of the factors that originally drove me to move to San Francisco.

    Part of me was glad that the rest of it was going to be hard if not impossible to get my hands on. As I had time to process the incident on Broadway, I could see that I had been getting pretty far out there.
    One good thing about being back in the Triangle was the utter lack of giant talking neon signs.

    Follow the story:
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Serafina’s Gift
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Charlie Perigo 1
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Zongo Kumalo 1
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Karoline Rosenda 1
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Zongo Meets The Stick
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Ride a Painted Pony
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Fadeout (Rock Hound Magazine, 1970)
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Tibetan Bells & a Bird from Hell
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Enrique Bravocado 1


  • Kingdoms of the Radio: Enrique Bravocado 1 [ficção]

    You could say that I was in on the ground floor of the intentional community at Girassol. I actually ran into Zongo in the Men’s Room of SFO right after he had made his connection.

    There I was, in one of the stalls delivering a package myself, when this bindle of coke, all folded up in a honey cut out of the pages of Playboy, bounced under the divider. Miss August, I believe. I recognized… never mind.

    There she was, lying on the tiles smiling up at me, and not a word from the next stall over. I guess he must have been judging the situation, you know, whether I was cool, or whether he was going to have to split in a hurry. I let him sweat it out for a couple of beats, and then let him off the hook.

    “Well, hello, woman of my dreams,” I rapped. “Who is crazy enough to leave you here unchaperoned?”

    I heard Zongo clear his throat and call out, “A little help.”

    Needless to say, once Miss August found the guy who brought her to the party, all three of us had a real good time; if imagining an image of yourself naked, objectified, and used to transport drugs could be considered a good time. Which, I imagine, some actually might.

    Look, I don’t want to give the wrong impression here, a woman’s body is a beautiful and sacred thing… I don’t want to… can we start over?

    Follow the story:
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Serafina’s Gift
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Charlie Perigo 1
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Zongo Kumalo 1
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Karoline Rosenda 1
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Zongo Meets The Stick
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Ride a Painted Pony
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Fadeout (Rock Hound Magazine, 1970)
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Tibetan Bells & a Bird from Hell

  • Kingdoms of the Radio: Fadeout (Rock Hound Magazine, 1970) [ficção]

    Hindsight is always a cold-hearted bitch. Lucious Cole was a head case. Anyone who had to personally deal with him—whether his ex-band mates who threw him to the curb, or this writer, who once was caught in his maelstrom for a lost weekend in San Francisco—could attest to his mercurial nature.

    Lucious Cole was also a genius. Perhaps it took a seriously damaged personality to fully capture the zeitgeist of our troubled times. Cole’s new—and sadly ironically titled—album, A-OK, does just that.

    Starting the album with the slow, meditative lope of Hold Me Down, Cole’s trademark rock solid rhythm guitar anchors his plaintive vocal to the Earth. It’s easy to read too much into Cole’s entreating Come with me / Hold me down / I feel like I’m losing my grip / On the ground; but the entirety of Cole’s later output, from the National Loaf’s Cut the Loaf on, could be read as a cry for help, albeit, a consistently tuneful one.

    A weary resignation has crept into Cole’s consciousness by the title track where a swirling guitar figure underscores an exhausted soul coming to terms with leaving all his worldly possessions in the care of others. I’m glad that you still care / About all the thousand things / That I can no longer bear.

    A radio-friendly jangle of acoustic guitars announces the freedom that Cole has found in letting go in Clear Skies. Ex-National Loaf drummer Chas “Chalky” Woodrow provides his trademark skittering background as if trying to escape the session before being caught up once again in Cole’s drama.

    Should we infer anything by whatever olive branch brought his contentious former band mate back into Cole’s creative circle? Was Cole making amends, intuiting that time was short, or did he just need a damn good drummer to propel the obvious breakout single?

    Whatever peace Cole found in rekindling an old friendship has clearly eroded by the arrival of the tense and jittery Sliding Away [From It All]. Chalky reprises his rhythm work on this track, laying down a solid foundation for Cole’s precarious emotional house of cards, while a trio of background gospel singers try to provide a modicum of tranquility behind the singer’s fragile vocal. Woodrow has since talked about the A-OK sessions as a drug-fueled Boschian nightmare, which would explain Cole’s clipped and manic avian-sounding chirps leading into the fadeout.

    By the time A-OK hits mid-point, the album has eased into its horse latitudes, a calming tropic of mid-tempo song craft that would stand out as a handful of highlights on a lesser artist’s record. Cole, however, is merely lulling the unsuspecting listener into a false sense of security.

    Our man suddenly kicks the speakers wide open with Power Games, a ferocious slab of pure, uncut funk, that could have established him as a viable photo-negative answer to James Brown himself. This writer, for one, would have loved to see Lucious Cole live long enough to have blown some minds and moved some asses on the new Soul Train television show.

    Perhaps A-OK’s most beguiling, and hauntingly beautiful, song is the closing track. Named after a mythical kingdom in ancient Buddhist and Hindu lore, Shambhala has come to generally refer to a spiritually pure place where wizened “sun worshippers” live out their long lives in bliss.

    One can hear the primal yearning for such a place in Cole’s impassioned delivery behind a soaring orchestration incorporating exotic instrumentation from the Far East. It’s a shame he never found what he was looking for.

    Grade: Five bones

    Follow the story:
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Serafina’s Gift
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Charlie Perigo 1
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Zongo Kumalo 1
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Karoline Rosenda 1
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Zongo Meets The Stick
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Ride a Painted Pony

  • Kingdoms of the Radio: Ride a Painted Pony [ficção]

    Doing his best to relax in a hard plastic molded chair, one of countless copies in a bleak line, the man formerly known as Fred Williams waited at the airport for a Pacific Air Lines 727 to arrive from McKinleyville. Khumalo sighed and took a deep hit of the local atmosphere. Filling his lungs with cool fog tinged with the volatile high note of spent jet fuel, he knew he had made the right decision. As soon as his current business was done, he was leaving.

    Khumalo watched from the gateway windows as the baggage handlers drove their cart out onto the tarmac and began testing the viability of any American Tourister luggage like the gorilla in the recent TV commercial. He was a Samsonite man, himself, and relatively sure that what he was waiting for would arrive unscathed by any simian exuberance.

    He was actually relieved that this would be the last time he would be on the receiving end of a delivery from his people in Humboldt County. If he didn’t know everyone in the ground crews at both ends, he would never have put himself on the line. Leaving town, however, was always going to cost money. Spotting the innocuous Glacier Blue case driving away from the plane on top of the handlers’ clown car, Khumalo made his way down to the baggage carousel.

    He always got a perverse kick out of the way that one of the most frustrating and soul-sucking activities one could endure at the airport was tarted up with a circus allusion. Who doesn’t like a ride on the carousel? What goes up, must come down… if it was good enough for Blood, Sweat, and fucking Tears, then you can stand ass-to-elbows with a crowd of exhausted travelers waiting for your dirty underwear. Ride a painted pony, motherfucker.

    Khumalo had long mastered the art of invisibility at the scrum. One just had to look tired and pissed off to be there. Any energy or excitement was immediately noticed as a tell that you were either on drugs, or up to no good. Perhaps both. It was the opposite of jury duty. He had been dismissed more times than he could remember by acting stoked to be a part of it all. Number 26… fuck right off.

    Having retrieved his suitcase, Khumalo made it as far as the men’s room off of the carousel before the bindle in his boot started calling his name. It had been some time since he had a hit of medicine, and if he was going to hit the ground running, he needed a little pick-me-up.

    After the supernormal vision he experienced on the corner of Broadway and Columbus, the newly-christened Zongo had somehow made it back to his North Beach flat and slept for three days. When he finally awoke, twisted in sheets damp with the poison of sweated toxins, he untangled himself, took a shower, and hightailed it over to the Fillmore District.

    “Hello, Fred,” a spry ninety-year-old Liana Chaves answered the doorbell after Khumalo used it to play an extended solo. “Did I call you over?”

    “No, Ms. Chaves,” he fought to keep from shifting from foot-to-foot and becoming the young boy Chaves always made him feel like. Khumalo supposed that compared to the nonagenarian, he was still a boy. Hell, compared to her, he thought, he was still a fucking embryo. Still, the old gal always treated him well, and Khumalo always mustered a little extra care when asked to maintain her jewel box of a home.

    “I wanted let you know that I was thinking about going back up north for a bit. I could check in on your property while I was there if you’d still like. Maybe do some fixing up if need be.”

    “Is that right?” Chaves eyed the handyman skeptically. “And you didn’t feel that you could call me on the telephone and give me that news?” The woman didn’t reach her nineties by being anybody’s fool.

    Against his best efforts, Khumalo began to rock a little on the balls of his feet. Jesus Christ, he thought, all I need is a baseball cap to nervously twist in my hands as I ask for the damn money for the Chronicle.

    “Ah, Ms. Chaves… you see… the thing is…”

    “Get on in here,” Chaves kindly released him from the hook she had so masterfully landed in his cheek. “I’m just breaking your balls. That’s great news, Fred. The sun just might do you some good, you’re looking a little pálido.”

    You don’t know the half of it, Khumalo thought, toying with the idea of telling the woman the whole story, starting with his mystic vision of the Giant Neon Doda and how she rechristened him on the side of Broadway while sailors and drunks passed between them on their ways to their own life-changing interludes. He thought better of it.
    I’m sure the ol’ gal has seen some weird stuff in her time, he mused. Hell, she lived through two World Wars, the Roaring Twenties, the Great Depression… but a Giant Neon Doda? Forget it. That story was not going to get the keys to her pad in Mendocino.

    As Khumalo followed Chaves down the entry hall, he had to resist running a hand over the polished mahogany wainscoting. “Do you have any idea what kind of shape the place is in, Ms. Chaves?”

    “Now, Fred, if we are going to talk business,” the elderly woman spoke without turning around, continuing her bustle toward the kitchen, “we should sit down and have a cup of tea like civilized folks, don’t you think?”

    “I suppose a cup of tea wouldn’t kill me,” Khumalo spoke to the majestic gray bun meticulously piled on the back of the woman’s head. “It’s just that I know what that climate can do to a place.” Chaves ignored his comment, already having laid out how this transaction was going to go.

    Once he was sitting at the comfortable farmhouse table that dominated the kitchen, its only competition a Wedgewood gas stove where an ancient copper tea kettle was happily coming to steam, Chaves told Khumalo about the property she hadn’t seen since the turn of the century.

    “My father was a dairyman, originally from São Miguel,” she narrated over her shoulder while bustling around, opening drawers and cabinets. “Like everyone from around the world, he came to California to strike it rich but soon realized that the best way to do that was to stick to what he knew best. It didn’t take long for him to put down the gold pan and carve out a small ranch out on the Garcia.”

    “The Garcia?” Khumalo raised an eyebrow, flashing on Jerry and helplessly imagining a farm growing out of his beard.

    “The river that winds through the property,” Chaves explained. “It flows pretty heavy in the winter if there’s been a lot of rain. You’ll like it, Fred. My father used to take me with him to catch steelhead when they were running.”

    “I’m not much of an angler, ma’am,” Khumalo lamented. Chaves ignored the comment and continued her monologue unabated.

    “I turned 13 in 1900, and that’s the last time I went fishing with my father, or saw the ranch. Sugar?”

    “No, thank you, ma’am,” Khumalo reached out for the delicate cup of fragrant tea. He blew on the brew, gazing over the rim of the bone China, now fully invested in the woman’s story. “What happened? If you don’t mind me asking.”

    “Ah, tragedy, I’m afraid,” Chaves sighed. My father had business here in San Francisco and came down in the middle of a pandemic.”

    “Ma’am?” Khumalo had attended high school at Lowell out in the Parkside District and didn’t remember anything about a local pandemic from any history class.

    “The bubonic plague,” Chaves noticed the blank look on her guest’s face. “It started in Chinatown, and tore through the City, but the government denied it was happening. About the only thing good about the whole place burning down in ’06 was that it finally put paid to that whole business.”

    “Wow,” Khumalo offered, not knowing what else to say. “I’m sorry, ma’am.”

    “It’s ancient history,” Chaves sighed. “Literally. When my father died, most of us children were farmed out to relatives. A few years later, I met my husband and we moved out to the Hawaiian Islands. He was in the sugar business, you see.”


    “And you never went back?” Khumalo asked. “Not even to visit?”

    “It was a different time, Fred. Back then, living in Hawaii… you might as well have been living on the Moon. I wrote to my mother every month after I left, but when the War broke out—this would have been the first ‘war to end all wars’—they started coming back unopened. I’ve tried over the years to find out what happened to her—what happened to Girassol—but life… you’re too young to have learned this yet, but life just has a way of barreling along like a train with no brakes. You see the stops as they go whizzing by, but too soon, you just sort of stop looking out the window.”

    “Who is Girassol, Ms. Chaves?”

    “Girassol is not a ‘who,’ Fred; it’s a ‘where.’ Girassol is, or was, our ranch. It means, ‘sunflower.’ The way I remember it, the Big House makes this place look like an earthquake shack. Oh, Fred, if it still stands, you’ll be amazed at all the amazing redwood. It was built a long time before that was hard to get.”

    “So you don’t know for sure if anybody is living there… or has lived there since World War Two?” Khumalo asked, beginning to imagine the house as a total tear down, that is, if the place hadn’t already fallen into Jerry’s beard.

    “World War One, dear. And, no, I have no idea; the deed came to me anonymously. How’s your tea, Fred?”

    Khumalo took a sip from the delicate cup and sat back in the woman’s overstuffed chair lost in thought.

    “Delicious.”

    Follow the story:
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Serafina’s Gift
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Charlie Perigo 1
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Zongo Kumalo 1
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Karoline Rosenda 1
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Zongo Meets The Stick

  • Kingdoms of the Radio: Zongo Meets The Stick [ficção]

    The self-ordained Zongo Khumalo descended the short staircase that led out of the back of Sammy’s Burger Shack where he had just been asked to turn in his whites and, in the words of the owner—a self-avowed asshole not named Sammy—“get the fuck out.”

    Khumalo reached into the breast pocket of the scratchy fuchsia polo shirt he had been required to purchase for the distinct privilege of flipping not Sammy’s shitty burgers and removed a battered red and white Marlboro soft pack containing a half-smoked joint of sinsemilla, the first half of which may have had a deleterious effect on the morning’s events.

    “Fuck it,” he announced to the Pacific Ocean that slapped just beyond the asphalt escarpment marking the edge of the Burger Shack’s domain and held a good bit of related detritus to help bolster the claim. A profusion of small star-shaped flowers of white, pink, and purple competed with similarly-hued burger wrappers for the privilege of being the landscaping’s most prominent feature.

    Khumalo had just taken a large hit when a convertible Oldsmobile came smashing into the Shack’s gravel parking lot like an iron meteorite. Just when he thought the heavy chunk of Detroit steel was going to end up becoming an artificial reef, the driver locked up the disc brakes and jerked his wheel to the left sending the machine into a four-wheel slide and kicking up a fuck-ton of dirt, rocks, and duck shit in the process.

    When the dust finally cleared, Khumalo expected to lock eyes with a typical wired-to-the-gills gearhead or one of the usual gonzo surfers that frequented the Shack after the morning break; instead, he was surprised to see—back-lit by the Sun still-rising toward apogee—a spitting image of Jesus the Christ himself.

    Charlie Perigo threw open the perfectly balanced driver-side door—back when Detroit rolling stock still had bodies “designed by Fisher”—and immediately zeroed in on Khumalo who stood agape in the slowly settling cloud of debris dressed in his grease-spattered polo with his joint hanging from his bottom lip held by a thin scrim of moisture.

    “Hey, brother,” Perigo addressed the incredulous ex-line cook. “What’s burnin’?” Khumalo turned back toward Sammy’s to see a plume of black smoke climbing out of the slowly turning rusted rooftop turbine vent.

    “That would probably be the lunch rush,” he answered, retrieving the now-extinguished joint and pointing toward the shack with it.

    “Not that,” the apparent maniac pointed at his hand. “That.”

    “Oh, right,” Khumalo recalibrated his first impression of Big J’s stunt double as he fumbled for his Zippo lighter.

    The two born iconoclasts connected with the natural force of a chemical reaction, Khumalo soon finding himself in the 442’s passenger seat, hanging on for dear life as the appropriately-named Perigo took the sharp shoreline turns at a full four-barrel roar.

    Perigo shouted something over the car’s 400-cubic-inch engine in maximum thrum as whole dinosaur dynasties were vaporized and shot out the dual exhaust, never to be thought of again.

    “What?” Khumalo shouted back in a register he didn’t recognize. As the Oldsmobile’s tight suspension groaned to counteract the brutal physics involved in the questionable choices Perigo was making on the turns, the force of inertia bent him toward the driver whom he began to suspect was completely insane.

    “I asked you,” Perigo shouted as he slammed the Hurst shifter into a higher gear, “have you ever been shot?” Before Khumalo could answer one way or another—and to tell the truth, he would have said “no,” had he time to gather his wits about him—Perigo lifted his white T-shirt to reveal an even whiter scar on his abdomen. The former cook took the bait.

    “Who shot you?” Williams finally played his part perfectly, coming in on cue as if rehearsed.

    “Charlie,” Perigo answered and started laughing like the lunatic Williams had now decided he most definitely was. Even years later, throughout the arc of their friendship, whenever the two men got together they performed their ritualistic greeting, each time Perigo dissolving into laughter so that Williams never did find out if it was the Vietcong or actually the man himself who pulled the trigger.

    “So, you were in ’Nam, man?” Williams asked, blindly groping around the floorboard for his dropped Zippo so he might steady his nerves for the next hairpin turn.

    “I did one tour and then got the fuck out,” Perigo shouted, deftly swerving to miss a dead fawn in the middle of the road.

    “Whaddya do there, if you don’t mind me asking?” Khumalo asked as he struggled to light what was left of his joint in the jet stream pouring in around the car’s windshield.

    “Chopper pilot,” Perigo answered, shifting into a gear that Khumalo was sure had no place on the Shoreline Highway.

    “You were a ’stick?’’’ Khumalo asked, passing the joint and hoping that its effects might just tame the maniac behind the wheel.

    “No, man,” Perigo corrected, taking a massive hit before losing the roach to the wind. “The stick.”

    Follow the story:
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Serafina’s Gift
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Charlie Perigo 1
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Zongo Kumalo 1
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Karoline Rosenda 1

  • Kingdoms of the Radio: Karoline Rosenda 1 [ficção]

    I was right out of college and living with a couple of roommates in a flat over the Communist Bookstore in the Mission. A friend of mind had wrangled me a job working for Zev Avidan—we all called him “Z”—over at Celestial Records. This was back when their offices were still on Irving, out in the Avenues.

    Celestial had somehow gotten the North American distribution rights for Lucious Cole’s new solo album, A-OK; sort of a Syd Barrett meets Van Morrison at a Captain Beefheart clusterfuck in Golden Gate Park sort of thing. To tell the truth, I thought it was a hot mess, but you have to understand the times. The labels were a lot more willing to take a chance on some crazy act because you just didn’t know what was going to catch on.

    Cole still had some star power left over from his years with the National Loaf, and whatever self-destructive thing he did to land himself in the papers on any given day only helped our situation. It’s a sad fact that dying is one of the best career moves you can make when you consider the back catalog.

    I got involved because was Cole was coming to town for a string of shows at Winterland. I think Albert King was opening for him and all three nights were completely sold out. This was the summer of ’71, right after Morrison woke up dead over in Paris, and the company was understandably a little concerned about their investment.
    Z asked me to keep an eye on their boy; you know, keep him out of major trouble, and make sure he found his way to the venue at a decent hour and in reasonable shape. I have to admit, I was a little star struck. I was young and still susceptible to British charm back then. Cole would soon cure me of that. Permanently.

    Despite all the drugs and booze, or probably because of them, our man had the sexy lure of the disaffected poet about him. I have to admit when I saw him strolling up the jet way at SFO’s International Terminal, a pretty blonde stewardess on each arm, that I was a little smitten and maybe just a little jealous.

    Safely delivered by Pan Am’s fit yet curvaceous handlers, Cole made a rather elliptical beeline toward me. As he got closer, I could tell he was sloshed, but he still tried to double down on his remaining charisma.

    “Hello, darling,” he purred, or slurred, I couldn’t yet tell which. Perhaps both.

    I said something to the effect of “Mr. Cole, I presume, how did you know I was waiting for you?”

    “Because, darling,” he buzzed (yea, it was both), “who else would such a beautiful woman wait for?” And with that, we were set to launch.

    Follow the story:
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Serafina’s Gift
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Charlie Perigo 1
    Kingdoms of the Radio: Zongo Kumalo 1