“So there we were, at the Canadian border, five of us in a van crammed with instruments and two pounds of the best Humboldt County weed you could imagine,” Cole entertained a captive audience of very stoned fans with tales of adventure and debauchery on the road. “Chalky was the one driving as he hadn’t come on to the acid yet, and we were hoping to make it to Vancouver before he did.”
Watching Cole from the corner of the dimly lit room through all the hash smoke, cigarette haze, and bullshit, sat a raven-haired 17-year-old with the unlikely appellation, Raenbeaux Starr. Blessed with an unerring sixth sense for trouble, Rosenda watched the girl watch from the opposite side of the room.
“As soon as we drove up to the booth and the Mountie was giving Chalky the treatment, you know, ‘Where are you going in Canada? How long do you plan to stay? All of that—our fucking bass player lost his hold on reality. He lunged up between the front seats and starting raving and growling, “I’m a monster!”
Caught up in pantomiming his story, Cole was oblivious to the girl staring a hole into the side of his face.
“Now, Canadians have a very dry sense of humor,” Cole continued. “The Mountie simply looked at our bassist and asked, ‘Are you carrying any fruits or veg?’ It was all we could do not to just dissolve into maniacal laughter. Somehow, we got waved through and made it far enough down the road so that we could pull over and lose it. I actually pissed myself I was laughing so hard.”
Rosenda noticed that while most of the assorted hangers-on were laughing at Cole’s story, the young girl in the corner had never shifted her gaze. She was, however, moving closer to the star, carrying with her a massive lit joint.
The nymphean creature sidled up to Cole and took a huge hit before shotgunning the pungent smoke into his mouth, sensuously brushing his lips with her own. The crowd reacted with a mix of encouragement and bemusement, sparking Rosenda to question the act.
“What?” she sputtered, the heady atmosphere in the room taking a toll on her faculties. “What’s wrong with that?”
One of the heads that was sitting cross-legged under a massive purple batik mandala spoke up. “Oh, it’s groovy. It’s just that Raenbeaux’s trip is Angel Dust. You know, PCP? Your man there is gonna be engaged for the next few hours.
“God damn it!” Rosenda raged. “You fucking idiots, I’m going to lose my job!”
Back out on the curb, Shane’s thoughts had turned briefly toward wondering what he was going to do about dinner when the front door of the old house slammed open, straining the natural arc of its hinges. A totally nude and raving Lucious Cole took the wooden stairs three-at-a-time and took off down the middle of Webster, an enraged Rosenda in hot pursuit.
“Bear, just don’t sit, there,” she panted, her legs furiously working her leather pumps in a futile attempt to overtake the flying Cole. “Catch him!”
Shane took a second to take stock of the situation and then leapt into action. Stepping out of the Lincoln, it took several seconds for the uncharacteristically tall Irish-American to completely unfold his body, but when he did, he loomed in the throw of the streetlight like a pale, fire-topped menhir, or Celtic standing stone.
“Cole!” he bellowed, his resonant baritone rattling the Navy glass in the loose window frames of the houses. “Not that way, mate! There be dragons!”
The pinwheel-eyed rock star spun on his bleeding heels and headed straight for the driver who promptly clotheslined him, dropping him to the street.
“I didn’t say kill him!” Rosenda gasped while catching up to both Cole and her breath.
Shane quietly took stock of the situation and tossed the gasping woman the keys to the Lincoln’s vast trunk. “Get the rope.”
“What? You can’t…”
“Look, Karoline, do you want this guy around or not? In about 60 seconds, he is going to be up and back to playing Johnny-on-the-go. I don’t feel like driving around all night looking for him. Get me the rope.”
Rosenda didn’t argue any further but retrieved a skein of yellow nylon cord. She began to ask why Shane carried rope, but immediately thought better of it. Besides, she was about to find out.
With a weary grunt, Bear knelt down next to the unconscious Cole and placed one knee in his back while looping the rope around his wrists. With a deftness that suggested Bear might have either had some experience with animal husbandry or BDSM, he had the rock star hogtied so that no matter what superhuman strength he may temporarily possess; the man was going nowhere.
“Hey,” a voice called out from the Victorian’s porch where a ragtag crowd had spilled out. “You can’t do that, man! That man has rights!”
Bear chose to ignore the complaints and focused on wrestling the inert star into the backseat of the Lincoln.
“Fascist!”
That turned out to be the wrong tact to take with the former boxer. Although he had been too young to get drawn into the War, Shane had brothers that risked their lives to beat back the tide of extremism in Europe.
Without saying a word, Shane gently shut the rear suicide door and walked around the front of the car. Once on the sidewalk, the streetlight threw his shadow across the entire front of the house, casting a pall on whatever meager protests were forthcoming.
“Who said that?” He bellowed.
“Hey man, you can’t just…” one of the heads started an objection and quickly ran out of steam as Shane stepped up.
“So it was you?” He loomed.
The wispy-bearded young man couldn’t have been a hundred and forty pounds soaking wet, but answered the big man’s question without too much tremor in his voice.
“Yea, it was me… Man.”
Shane took the young man’s measure as even the traffic on nearby Haight St. seemed to quiet down for once.
“Good for you,” he finally spoke. “You should always stand up for those who can’t stand up for themselves. That’s what my brothers went to Europe and got their asses shot full of Nazi lead for. I applaud that sentiment, but in this instance, I promise you, your concerns are misplaced.”
His reassurances delivered, Shane turned and walked back to the car, leaving the group on the porch speechless.
“What are we going to do with him?” Rosenda asked, getting into the Lincoln’s passenger side.
“We are going to sit on him until he gets his shit together. I know just the place.”
“You really clocked him,” she said, peering at Cole over the headrest.
“That’s why I get the big bucks,” Shane half-joked, while tied up on the backseat, an Englishman far from home dreamt of Elysian Fields.
Follow the story:
Kingdoms of the Radio: Serafina’s Gift
Kingdoms of the Radio: Charlie Perigo 1
Kingdoms of the Radio: Zongo Kumalo 1
Kingdoms of the Radio: Karoline Rosenda 1
Kingdoms of the Radio: Zongo Meets The Stick
Kingdoms of the Radio: Ride a Painted Pony
Kingdoms of the Radio: Fadeout (Rock Hound Magazine, 1970)
Kingdoms of the Radio: Tibetan Bells & a Bird from Hell
Kingdoms of the Radio: Enrique Bravocado 1
Kingdoms of the Radio: Zongo Khumalo 2
Kingdoms of the Radio: Karoline Rosenda 2
Kingdoms of the Radio: Enrique Bravocado 2
Kingdoms of the Radio: Don’t Poke the Bear (Pt. 1)








